Be honest how many times have you put off doing something that would help you, because someone else needed something first?
We tell ourselves it’s unselfish. That we’re just being kind, responsible, supportive. But often, it’s a clever disguise for avoidance.
I see it a lot. People come to me after months — sometimes years — of saying things like, “I’ll get round to it once work settles down,” or “I just need to sort out everyone else first.”
The truth is, they’re not waiting for life to calm down. They’re waiting for the fear to go away. We often have a similar conversation when they’ve got into the driving a bit and found it isn’t as scary as they were telling themselves.
acknowledge That Fear
That fear usually sounds something like: What if I can’t do it? What if I’ve left it too long? What if I try and still fail?
So instead, we keep busy helping others. It feels productive. We convince ourselves that we’re doing the right thing — supporting a partner, driving the kids around, being the dependable friend. But deep down, there’s a part of us that knows we’re avoiding our own growth.
The hardest part of any change is not the process itself, it’s deciding that you’re worth the effort. Once that’s settled, everything else becomes easier to face.
Driving anxiety, like many forms of self-doubt, feeds on inaction. The longer you delay, the bigger the challenge appears. Your brain starts to tell you it’s mega scary. Almost like you’re gaslighting yourself!
But the moment you do something, however small, you begin to dismantle that myth.
Get Someone Else to Make the Decision.
One of my clients was given a block of sessions with me as a birthday present from her mum. She’d talked about wanting to regain her confidence for ages, but there was always a reason it wasn’t the right time. Her mum recognised what was really happening — it wasn’t lack of time, it was lack of permission to prioritise herself.
That gift became a turning point. She got in touch with me and we started to tackle the problem. Five sessions later and she was happy to drive for a short distance on her own, which was a big step from where she started. Now she has the tools to be able to do the school run, do the bits and pieces at the weekend that she relied on someone else to do and drive to her in-laws for sunday lunch. Which is actually enabling her to prioritise others more effectively.
It made me wonder: how often do we wait for someone else to give us the permission we could have granted ourselves?
If you’ve been putting off addressing your driving confidence because life feels too full, ask yourself: what will actually change if you keep doing nothing? The answer, of course, is nothing at all.
👉 If you’ve been waiting for the right time, it’s now. Book a discovery session and take the first step back to confidence.
You are the only person responsible for the change you want.